Well, what happens when one crazy exec in Burbank hooks up with one crazy CEO in Osaka? The two might come up with Disney Sports Football.
Truth be known, Disney Sports Football doesn't really sound like that bad of an idea, weirder things have happened--like Disney's own Angel's winning the pennant. A wise developer would lift gameplay straight out of NFL Blitz and replace the visuals with deathly-cute Disney characters and accompanying locales. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, it would be easy if said developer was what Konami would call a gaijin, but the developer in this case is Konami's Osaka branch. For anyone not familiar with Japan, it's a country that would likely think "football" is a little sport America knows as soccer. In other words, having a Japanese developer create a football game is like having Naughty Dog or Midway make a Mahjong game for abroad.
The Facts
- Four game modes: Challenge Cup, Dream Cup, Exhibition and Practice
- Complex control scheme
- 14 Special "Magic" moves
- Link up to the GBA version
- Four-player multiplayer
Like Disney Sports Soccer before it, Disney Sports Football falls into the same dangerous niche gameplay territory. It implements Madden-esque controls and a full defensive and offensive line in a Disney world. So does it work? Not by a long shot, but this failure isn't because Konami combined cutesy eye-candy with simulation-style controls. It's not that at all. Sure, Konami would have had an easier time making an unrealistic gridiron game than a "simmy" one, but the reason that this new Disney Sports hybrid fails is that the control is neither simulation enough, arcade-like enough or even good enough.
In all our time with Disney Sports Football never did we feel a real connection with the character we were supposed to be controlling or what we were exactly doing and, mind you, this is after reading through the instruction manual with reluctance. In this day and age what game is so complex that you actually have to read the manual? Speaking of the documentation, it did us no good; whoever "wrote" the manual must've taken a lesson from Cliff's Notes because the manual fails to mention, in detail, many key gameplay elements. Take passing for instance; pressing the C Stick in one of four directions will pass to the specified receiver (through icon passing). The pigskin can be thrown with more muscle or distance if the C Stick is held down before it is released, but where is this mentioned in the super-sparse booklet? Instead of explaining anything the manual has a whole lot of nothing -- just like most of our savings accounts. We would have had an easier time translating Tut's hieroglyphics. Younger players, who seem to be the target audience of this title, may have a hard time figuring out how to play this game
But let's get beyond passing, let's say you just want to run the ball the entire time. First, we doubt this was motion-captured, but the run animations, among others, have the same slippery feeling associated with mo-cap games. Be ready for the sensation of running on ice. And once you get used to walking the duck on ice then it's time to learn that there's no real way to fight off the defense for those precious extra yards. In Madden and Blitz there are a ton of things players can do to earn another yard, not here, sorry. Once you have the ball your best bet is to put a vice grip on the R trigger, run like hell, cross your fingers and hope the defense doesn't catch up. Don't bother trying to dive, that'll earn about half a yard no matter how hard you try. Defense is just as bad as being on offense, possibly worst. The "change players" button (X) isn't nearly responsive enough and seems to not only have a mind of its own, but also out to sabotage your chance of tackling runners or sack the QB.
Graphics
Visually, Disney Sports Football isn't really that bad, but it sure isn't good either. Like its "futbol" cousin, DSF runs at an industry standard 60 frames per second. The animated crowd is of the billboard-type so if you look carefully they aren't 3D, but just 2D animated on a flat "invisible" polygon. Fortunately they're at a distance where they don't stand out, much.
The character models look decent enough, but the animation is too simple without much hoopla. This is a Disney game and has many characters we've grown to love since we were little kids; there should be more of what makes these characters special sprinkled throughout with animations and character interaction. There are no rivalries, no nothing, just pretty cartoon characters running into and through each other. Just not enough on-screen, if you ask us, not only are the graphics lacking, but the over-the-top-make-it-or-break-it fanfare isn't there. Some of the particle effects are neat-o looking, like during some of the "magics" or on touchdowns, but the visuals are bare bones minimum. On closer inspection some of the textures don't line up properly and the models clip through each other like ghosts getting their freak on the dance floor.
Sound
One word, off. Do yourself a favor and put on some Benny Goodman, some Carl Orff because anything is better than the announcer's squeaky clean muy-obnoxious voice. Did this guy escape from Radio Disney or something? At least the in-game sound effects aren't bad; they're pretty subdued and remain in the background where they should be. Now only if we could do something about that MC...