Ballmer proves he’s all for black pride at a playoff game against the Golden State Warriors. / Photo: Noel Vasquez / Getty Images
Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is buying the Clippers off that unabashed racist Donald Sterling for two billion dollars—beating out all the other non-racist bidders, including Oprah Winfrey and friends’ 1.5 billion. And while Ballmer is certainly an improvement (see "evidence" above), he’s no neutral character, either: He’s known for shouting and chanting and getting egged by a Hungarian. So how will Ballmer, a tech business guy who once got so angry with Google he allegedly threw a chair across the room, fare as an NBA owner? Well, it’s sports, so the antics might just work in his favor.
Photo: © Britta Pedersen/dpa/Corbis
He Can Get the Crowd Involved
He got a bunch of computer nerds to clap it out to a chant of "developers, developers, developers"—no easy task.
He’s Enthusiastic About Second-Best Teams
Evidence: "I AM A PC. AND I LOVE THIS COMPANY."
He Understands the Importance of Viral Videos.
When Microsoft was all the rage in the ’90s and looked as if the good times would never end, Ballmer donned a crimson suit and he and Bill Gates head bopped to "What Is Love?" Here’s hoping for a Ballmer/Barnes collab.****
**He Knows How to Negotiate. Using Chairs. **
Back when he was CEO of Microsoft, he threw a chair when an engineer said he was leaving for Google. _"Fucking Eric Schmidt is a fucking pussy," _Ballmer said, according to a sworn statement. "I’m going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill Google."
And He’ll Never Give Up on an Underdog
He’s not afraid to use that four-letter word, and even go over his self-imposed world limit: "I have four words for you: I. LOVE. THIS. COMPANY. YEEEEEESSSSSS"
In a sworn statement, a Microsoft-turned-Google engineer said Ballmer threw a chair, but Ballmer has vigorously denied this ever happened.