A young ventriloquist is touring Belgium and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Belgian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! ... I'm talking to that littlepiece of crap on your lap"

A blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing on the edge of the pool ready for the 100 yard breast stroke race...

The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and began swimming.

A few minutes later, the brunette finished and jumped out of the water. Then the redhead.

About twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged.

They awarded the gold to the brunette, the silver to the redhead, and the bronze to the blonde.

As they placed the medal around her neck, the blonde whispered, " I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think the other two used their arms."

Why can't blondes be ranchers?





They can't keep their calves together....

The first one was good!!

Two blondes sitting on a porch in Texas one evening looking up at the big Texas sky.. One blond says to the other...."Which do you think is farther, the moon or Florida?"

The other responds...."Duh, you can see the moon"

I resemble those jokes, when I had hair, it was blond.

A brunette and a blond jump off a tall building at the same time. Which lands first? The brunette, she did not have to stop, to ask directions.

My wife always responds with the riddle: "What's black and blue and laying in the bar ditch?" Answer: "The guy who told me one too many blonde jokes!"

Blonde bought a coach ticket for an airplane ride to los Vegas.
Then she ran up the 1st class and sat down in the seat.
When the stewardess asked her to move, she responded: "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Las Vegas and 1st class."
The Stewardess responded, But you only bought a coach ticket ma'am. You need to return to the coach section.
" I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Las Vegas and 1st class!!"
The steward tried with the same response, then the Co-pilot walked be, and the stewdess explained the problem, and a copilot bent and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the back of the plane.

The stewardess was flabbergasted. "What on earth did you say to her?" She asked.

" I told her 1st class wasn't going to Las Vegas." he said.

Didja hear the one about the blond that was told most car accident happen within 10 miles of home?

So she moved........

Doctor to the blonde woman: "You're pregnant."

Her response: "Is it mine?'

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?


A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

A guy walks into a bar and says to the blond bartender, wanna hear a blond joke?
The bartender says I've a crowbar right under the bar here, the blond on the stool is a MMA fighter, the blond to her right is the is the county sheriff, the blond at the back table is a married to a hell's angel and the blond at the at the pool is a top level pistolero. Are you sure you want to tell this joke?
The man replies, well not if I have to explain it 5 times.

LOL!

What do you call a smart blonde ? A yellow Lab !

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat
The bouncer is a blonde girl
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

What do you call a Brunette between two blondes?
-Interpreter

A Blonde gets pulled over by the police. The cop comes up and asks for license and registration, gets them, goes back to his car. When he comes back, he pulls his wanker from his pants. The Blonde looks to the sky and says "Oh god, not the breathalyzer again!"

A blonde calls the fire department, yelling my house is on fire! The dispatcher ask the blonde how do we get to your house? The blonde replies " Duh big red truck dummy"!

I don't get it.

Wifey doesn’t think any of those are funny.

blonde walks down to the river and sees another blonde on the other side. 1st blonde yells, "hey come over here". the 2nd blonde yells back " i AM over here"

A blond and her boyfriend are walking down the street, they come across a dog sitting on the sidewalk licking himself, the guy says "I wish I could do that" the blond replies "he looks kinda mean, you better pet him first".

Then explain them to her.

Blond goes to her doctor and asks : how do I give him shoulders ?

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting
today, and all the other kids could only count to
four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from
school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were
saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids
could only say it to G, but I said it to N. See?
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L M, N!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from
school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were
in gym class today, and when we showered, all
the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

She lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed
chest.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 19 !"

+2